Master of Grand Delusions

The narcissist lives in an intricate world of his making, dominated by inflated illusions of self-importance.  His style is grandiose---like some peacock or wild turkey with feathers in full display. His (or her) version of reality bears no resemblance to the truth. Experiencing himself (herself) at the center of life, like a sun surrounded by encircling planets, the narcissist believes that everything flows from him. The narcissist has an incredible sense of self-entitlement. Everything is about him (her) and belongs to him. He smoothly oversteps the personal boundaries of others, mistreating, devaluing, and humiliating them to bend them to his will and his desires.

 The Image

The narcissist is always preoccupied with the impression he (or she) is making…Narcissists are perfectionists. For some, everything in their environment-homes, cars, personal effects---must reflect a flawless self…(These) individuals lead their entire lives exclusively on a surface level. They are incapable of  introspection, the process of going inside oneself. As Western society has become more narcissistic, the emphasis on material attainment as a basic life value has overshadowed the inner search and the journey toward greater insight and awareness.

 Parental Cold Embrace

Mothers and fathers of narcissists are often narcissistic themselves. These parents have cold and ruthless relationships with their children, based on manipulation not love and respect…A narcissistic parent is incapable of empathy…The child (of a narcissist) suffers a cold embrace. In order to wear the family crown, he must relinquish the psychological essence of his true self, that part of him that thinks creatively and feels authentic. He must abandon the part of himself that is most alive.

 Narcissist as Predator

The narcissist is predatory. Like a hawk in the distant sky, he circles and then suddenly swoops down to snatch his unsuspecting prey. Those who stand between him and his goals are imperiled. ..All narcissistic personalities are cruel and sadistic. The perpetrator of treachery has murderous intentions. He may not actually kill his victims, but he finds undetectable ways to diminish or destroy their lives.

 Beneath the Narcissist’s Elaborate Mask

The narcissist’s (unconscious) experience of emotional emptiness is beyond longing or sadness.  It is a severe and intractable wounding, a pain…savage and deep…

Closet Paranoia

Paranoia is a pervasive fear that others will harm or even destroy us. The narcissist lives in an unfriendly and dangerous inner world, despite the power and glamour of his external life. Inside he is paranoid, tormented by anticipated attacks of perceived enemies.  

 Life in the Shadows

The future partner of the narcissist was often the child of an arrogant, demanding, narcissistic parent. From his (her) earliest days he was conditioned to respond to his parent’s arbitrary rules and whims. The narcissistic mother or father conducted himself as a dictator without a conscience, immune to any outside authority.  From the time they were very little, these children become experts at catering to the idiosyncratic needs of the narcissistic parent.

 Pathways Beyond Narcissism

Today, many individuals are running a different kind of marathon, a trek  to a land beyond ego satisfactions. They are no longer willing to live solely for  themselves.

 Intuition

The expanding and deepening of true intuition requires the suspension of the rational thinking mind and the quieting of the senses. It demands faith, discipline, and persistence. The highest levels of intuition are developed through regular deep meditation. Meditation, when it is practiced fervently and consistently, brings a calmness to the body and mind. It slows thoughts and quiets emotions. We enter a gathering peace.

 Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.