Beneath the Narcissist’s Mask
Beneath the narcissist’s bravado and grandiosity lies a pervasive emptiness.  The narcissist constantly turns to the rewards of the external world (praise, adulation, material possessions) to fill the painful inner void. The narcissist projects a bottomless rage, secret envy and closet paranoia.  The narcissistic ego is brittle, vulnerable to perceived psychological injuries and slights. In later years the narcissist is often crushed by a sinking enervating despair.

Life in the Narcissist’s Shadow
Besides jeopardizing their psychological and physical health, those who live with narcissists, particularly spouses, rob themselves of vital opportunities to develop their unique creative gifts.  They set aside their talents, drives and dreams to spend huge amounts of time and energy at the disposal of the narcissist’s wife or husband. Intimates of a narcissist are trapped in the role of obedient child…They are uncomfortable activating their individuality, afraid of being assertive, of taking the initiative. 

Narcissists Demand Perfection From Others
Besides outward appearances, the narcissist often picks talented people who will make him look brighter and more creative or lever.  Naturally, he takes all of the credit for every battle won or accomplishment achieved. Those who live or work for him must perform beyond perfection  Regardless of his irrational bizarre standards, the servant of the narcissists expected to reach and exceed them.  No mistakes or missteps are permitted. Although gravely flawed, the narcissist perceives himself as incapable of making errors.

Narcissist’s Grandiose Self Entitlement
The narcissist has an incredible sense of self-entitlement.  Every thing  is about him and belongs to him.  He smoothly oversteps the personal boundaries of others, mistreating, devaluing and humiliating them to bend them to his will and his desires.  The heroic narcissistic vision of self bears no resemblance to objective reality.  The narcissist resides in a separate universe, keeping himself expanded like a human dirigible. 

Narcissists Seek the World’s Applause
Narcissists are handsomely rewarded for the very attributes that make them inconsiderate and demanding human beings: self-absorption, aggressiveness, hubris…They are fawned over and admired despite a delusional consciousness that rides high on the winds of self-adoration, outrageous demands and excess indulgence.  Receiving the world’s applause is the shining jewel in the narcissist’s crown.

The Force of Narcissistic Rage
The force of narcissistic rage is cataclysmic, designed to leave no survivors.  The timing of its eruptions is unpredictable.  There is no chance to escape and run for cover. The victim feels invaded, even assaulted.  The aftermath causes emotional pain and devastation. The victim rises slowly and cautiously, checking himself for injuries. Expressing gratefulness for having lived through the ordeal, he anxiously wonders when the next violent jolt will occur and if he will survive it.

The Narcissist’s Gift
The gift of the narcissist is an engraved invitation for you to become more authentic, to stretch your psychological muscles and to seek greater awareness.  Here, we are driven to seek the truth, to peel off the masks of false selves, and to embrace the creative loving force ever present at the center of our being.

BEYOND NARCISSISM

Intuition-Source of Wisdom
Intuition is a moment of truth that arrives faster than a brain wave or the sharpest flash of lightning. It is an instantaneous illumination beyond study or thought.

Practicing Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the art of living fully in the present moment...When we are aware without distraction  we experience what is happening right now…We are drawing upon an intrinsic internal power that is always available…centering (of the mind)generates a consciousness that is still and sure.  As the mind  quiets, it gathers greater concentration and focus.

Your Pathway to Meditation
Whatever pathway you take beyond narcissism, it is your process…In many Eastern spiritual disciplines the invitation beckons to close your eyes, gaze at the point between your eyebrows, and surrender to the true reality beneath the chatter, emotional uproars, obsessive thoughts, regrets and hurts you are holding. Allow them to dissolve through an open heart…Here the clear light of intuition is the brightest star in your sky. The earth’s winds quiet, the senses still, the past is washed  clean, the ego fades, an unexpected peace begins to dawn. Now you are home

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.